Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
