some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
as a side note pls kill me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize