that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
