I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
