Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize