weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
