I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
