He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she looked like the before picture.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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