she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize