You smell like stripper and shame
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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