CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
