Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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