Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
