I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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