p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
