Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
