Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
