Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
