There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
my liver is dry heaving
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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