Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
