My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
