I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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