Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
