Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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