She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im holly from the hills drunk
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
