marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
