Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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