And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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