I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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