You work out of a Hotel?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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