i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
