i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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