"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
