U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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