You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Randomize
