hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
