Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
