Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
