she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
