This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Need sex. Gaining weight.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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