The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This beer is not sobering me up at all
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
