So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
