When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
