Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
