I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This is my gift to your gina
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
