I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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