I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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