I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i dont even know how to be here
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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