i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
