How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I still have a little drunk in my system
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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