My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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