I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
whose ass print is on the piano?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
