batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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