spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dear god my vagina.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
