so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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