I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
