i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
