In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
