living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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