you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
