I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
