Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
In the future we'll all be gay
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
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Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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