You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
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He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
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He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize