rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
