his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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