ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
