I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize