we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
jump out the window naked night went bad
So here I am, sexting at work.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
