Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Your tits are I can't wait for
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
