it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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