Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
